How does one heal from being wounded? In today’s society, there seems to be a need to put a Band-Aid on a festering wound. We want to sweep it under the carpet, not acknowledge that we even “feel” the pain. But it is there all the same.
So, how do we work through the process of “letting” go? The first place to start is acknowledging the pain. It is okay to say that you have been hurt. The next place is to make a choice. Make a choice to forgive. That is the part that is not so easy. We need help with that. In our own strength, we cannot forgive. We must be willing to yield our will to a choice of forgiveness. Jesus said that if we didn’t forgive others, His father wouldn’t forgive us. Mark 11:25 says, “And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive them, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins.” We need to ask the Lord’s help to forgive.
There has been the belief that once is enough. Sometimes it is not. It is a continual process until we reach the place where we can think of the incident and emotion is no longer attached to the thought. The old adage “forgive and forget” just is not true. We have memories for a reason. However, they serve us, not us them.
In this process of forgiving, you may have to interact with the person who wronged you. You make a choice to walk in forgiveness and love. If the opportunity presents itself, dialog with the person who offended you. Don’t accuse or blame; communicate effectively.
The steps to this process:
- Acknowledge the pain
- Make a choice to forgive
- Continue to make the choice until there is no longer pain with the memory
- Talk to the person (if the opportunity presents self)
When looking at what Jesus did for us on the cross, how could we not forgive? Especially when He said, “Father, forgive them for they know not what they do?”
Will you make that same choice?